You are your own BEST FRIEND

                      I’ve known you for years. Did you know, even though it’s hard for you to name everyday’s thought you’d come across, I used to listen to everything that you had to narrate about, I was there for you. Couldn’t you feel the importance of my presence in your life? Does something called emotions even penetrate within you? Because you proved how heartless you are. Heartless? More like making me feel pitiful, alone, cold and scared. Did you ever stop thinking about yourself or try to find a clue about what state I was in standing there with a smile at my gloomy face trying to cheer you up. Or, do you even know how I tried to hold back my tears and emotions thinking that you have bigger problems than me in your life? Nothing has changed. Not you, not me.

             It was a lazy autumn weekend. After having breakfast, I checked over my book collections. While searching for my favorite novel, ‘Sophie’s World’ through colorful, big, fat, thin small books I found my old photo album lying at the corner under magazines. Leaving the novel behind, I turned the front page of the album, from where my beautiful life actually started. I was covered in my parent’s warm arms during my naming day, where both of them looked happy as a clam. Every photo reminds me of how blissful I am for being raised with all love, affection, care and closeness. After turning into many more moments captured from Germany, I went through my photos which was after coming back to Nepal. Looking at my innocent and adventurous photos with my family which was 7 years old, I stared at my class photo of 5^th till 10^th standard. I suddenly got a flashback of my schooldays especially the friends there.

               Like all of our different stories through phases of life, friends are one part of my life which keep striking my mind and makes me recall good and bad deeds that happened knowingly or unknowingly. New faces, new beginning, new journey. With some devotion in our mind and heart we try to do our best in new places, impress the people there, and adjust in the new environment. Not knowing each other’s past which reflects how and what you are, not knowing each other’s likes and dislikes, not knowing if you are an angle or a devil we start picking our friends. Gradually, by sometime after we reveal our secrets; which mean everything to us and want them to keep it as a promise, we also allow them to be comfortable around us and start having some bonding. Soon, we will know that we have to part from each other for some reason. And then we will treasure every moments we spent together, later after some years we will meet in reunion parties or any events. We will or might remember each other until our last breath.

                      But this has been put up so easily, like the narration of meeting and lasting friendships. What about all the twists and turns, topsy-turvy world we went through. What about those sleepless nights where you hanged up in the phone when I tried to explain you those beautiful days are yet to come. What about those rough days you had and I was there leaving everything behind and hanging out with you. And about all those funny feelings I had about any situation but I was there suggesting and advising you. Yea, so, we all have different ways to treat and handle people in our life. Some of the time must have been cherishing, other’s frustrating, but at the end all you will have is yourself, right?

                        Sometimes when you are dissatisfied by anything or doesn’t come under your expectations it will be you who will be right there knowing every seconds battling. You will realize your own worth and value because the things happening around you just doesn’t deserve others to know. You prefer not to talk much, try to stay low-key. All of a sudden you become the prey of something unexpected. Therefore, you choose to change out of the blue. The ‘you’ in childhood and the ‘you’ right now. Do you know why? Because a little appreciation, a real smile, warm wishes, positive vibes could not led to what you or anyone is going through right now. But don’t forget that all these situations will make that individual stronger as they are battling all alone. They will start finding happiness in small things. They will learn to love themselves more over others. They will have a crystal clear vision about their next step. They no longer become dependent upon you, cry over the phone because of confusions, have mood-swings, and make plans to humiliate enemies and what not. They will stand for themselves, with a broad smile on their face as they became successful fighting for themselves. They will know what real victory is. They know their worst self, and their best self. No matter what, at the end of every story they will have either a depressing or happy ending, but anyhow, it will end at the last.